Monday, February 22, 2010

Comfort zone breach

Today I had a less than pleasant exchange with someone in another office. It wasn't necessarily bad, but I am pretty sure that I sounded a bit annoyed. I also pushed back on something, which is not something I do on a regular basis. However, the edit this person wanted to make just did not make sense to me. I believe some sort of compromise was reached. Then several questions came, and I doubt I truly answered them. I do not think I said anything incorrect, but I was just feeling tired and sick of this project, so I probably just rambled a bit. After I got off the phone I felt like shit. I don't think there's a reason for me to have felt that bad, but that doesn't change the fact that I felt sick after. I also got all teary. Normally I tell my boss about this stuff. I think I may wait at least until tomorrow. Or maybe I'll send an email update. I'm concerned that I would get strangely emotional discussing it. And that is not something I want happening at all.

I do not know why I felt so upset after. I've been incredibly tired today, which is definitely a contributing factor. The thing is though that I think it is more related to my comfort levels. I'm not comfortable pushing back on something or telling someone they are wrong. I also tend to shut down if I don't think what I am saying is being heard. Usually, this stuff is annoying, but not a huge problem. Today it felt much worse though because I was speaking for my office. I had to explain things about the program and even though I think I'm right, it doesn't change the fact that I was nervous. I'm sure it could have been handled in a better way, but I think I was right to push back. The other stuff may have been a bit peripheral to what was being asked, but oh well.

After a while I decided to send a follow-up email. It just included a couple pieces of clarifying information. It may not have been necessary, or may have reminded the person of something unpleasant, but sending it made me feel better. I now feel a bit more confident about the situation moving forward.

I'll see how it goes though. All I know at this moment is I am very happy to go home now.

No comments:

Post a Comment